Weird at Last
by Spazthemighty
Summary: Eight 150 word or less ficlets about Carlos's new life in Night Vale and the weirdness that ensues ((for Krista's birthday))


1

On Carlos's first day in Night Vale, he notices a strange man following him. The man isn't tall, but he isn't short. His hair isn't quite blonde, but at the same time it isn't brown. The man seems to be talking into a microphone as he follows Carlos, and Carlos is sure he catches something about 'perfect and beautiful hair'. Before Carlos can confront him, though, a glowing pink fire hydrant attacks Carlos and he decides that Night Vale is too strange to worry about one strange man.

2

Carlos doesn't listen to the radio for the first few months that he lives in Night Vale, which means that he's never quite sure why Old Woman Josie keeps sending him cookies, with notes saying to 'share with Cecil' and why the member of the secret police that had been assigned to him upon his arrival in Night Vale keeps calling him with a reminder that all romantic relationships must be reported to the City council immediately, or why hooded figures give him packages of hair care products and condoms.

"It's probably better you don't know," his neighbor Steve Carlesburg tells him wisely.

3

Telly the barber hums happily as he trims Carlos's hair. Finally. Carlos has been trying to find a barber to cut his hair for two months. For some reason, every barber he's found has refused. One even pretended he ran a coffee shop, not a barber shop, and offered Carlos a mug of shaving cream "on the house".

"Thanks," Carlos says, standing up and digging in his pockets for some cash. Telly continues to hum as he sweeps Carlos's hair into a pan, and dumps it in a bag, which he promptly puts in a safe.

"No charge," he tells Carlos as he locks the safe.

Carlos walks away.

That is the most normal thing that's happened to him in weeks.

4

When Carlos decides that Night Vale should know about the recent infestation of gravity defying Rick Astley look alikes, he calls Cecil. Cecil picks up before the Carlos finishes dialing his number.

"How did you-,"

"Standard secret world government issue ESP," replies Cecil cheerfully, "Haven't you got yours yet? Maybe we could meet about it later, talk about it over coffee, you know, normal, totallynotadate type of stuff. Or we could go to Big Ricky's, which has a lovely little candle lit nook that is totally normal for friends to meet in and talk about not romantic stuff. You know. Something casual."

Carlos looks out his window to see one of the Rick Astley look alikes serenading his flower pots.

"You know what, Cecil? Nevermind."

5

Carlos can't quite figure out why, but he and Cecil keep running into each other. The first time is when they're both waiting in line to check out books at the city library.

"How did I get here?" Carlos whispers to Cecil as they crouch under a reading table.

"The librarians," Cecil whispers back, and clutches his book (The 105 Best Night Vale CIty Council Approved Romantic Meals) tight to his chest.

The second time is at the first annual Night Vale Scientist appreciation day, where Cecil patiently explains to Carlos that it is traditionally considered lucky to stroke a scientists hair, and any refusal to be petted would very culturally insensitive.

Cecil proceeds to stroke Carlos's hair for two hours.

6

"Hello?" Carlos says, picking up his phone, which has mysteriously turned into a banana during the night.

"Have you asked Cecil out yet?" asks the no-nonsense voice of the member of the sheriff's secret police that had been assigned to him upon his arrival in Night Vale. Carlos sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"No, I haven't. I'm here to do science, not indulge some radio announcers crush on me. Don't you have anything better to do?"

A beat of silence.

"Really, you should ask him out-,"

Carlos hangs up.

7

As Carlos is dragged down into the depths of the tiny city underneath the bowling alley, the only thing he can think of is how it felt when Cecil ran his hands through his hair. How Cecil's voice is the most beautiful thing he's ever heard. How he's wasted so much time trying to figure out why time won't work in Night Vale, when it doesn't really matter anyways. Whether the clocks work or not, it doesn't stop time running out. It doesn't stop him from running out of time to tell Cecil that he has scientifically concluded he may be in love with him.

8

He's alive, miraculously alive and he needs to see Cecil, needs to tell him. But when he finally sees Cecil, finally touches Cecil, he can't say anything. Cecil doesn't seem to know what to say either. Instead he leans his head against Carlos's shoulder and stares up at the lights above Arby's. Carlos thinks how amazing it that a radio announcer manages to convey the deepest emotions with the fewest words.


End file.
